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Updates

March 29th, 2014 at 12:11 pm

Well to update on my latest posts:

I talked to my employer about the concerns that have been brought up. She told me several times she is not trying to "lose me" as an employee but she needs to keep things fair. Using the guard gate parking lot is not feasible to meet husband and feed. So I'll try meeting him down the street at a gas station parking lot. She's not giving me extra time to commute but I'm sure I can take an extra 5 -10 mins and it wont be a problem providing I'm not late to provide a barn service (like a trail ride or lesson). I think she is cautious about telling me "yes" on special requests because she's afraid of exactly what is happening now- me getting special permission for something. I'm GUESSING the newest employee asked or thought he could bring his kids around an didn't understand that he couldn't because he sees my husband pull up regularly.

I asked about taking 4 consecutive days off to go out of town. Boss said absolutely after Easter. That is the start of our slow season where several horses will be leaving and things will relax. She told me to look up airfare and talk to family and give her the dates I'm requesting off.

So I feel that things at work have kind of been addressed.

At home things are better too. Husband and I kind of "cleared the air" during our day of fighting. So yesterday everything was good.

Husband made a big effort to feed the baby solids yesterday in an attempt to get baby accepting solids as a meal replacement during my shorter 6 hr shifts. That means he would only need to come out to meet me on my lunch break 2x week during my 9 hr shifts.

We started baby on solids about 2 weeks ago. For the most part she will accept 5-6 spoonfuls before turning her head and pushing the spoon away. They are not full mouthfuls. She kind of lets the food sit in her mouth while she stares at you and it just dribbles down her chin. Then after a minute she will swallow what is left.

Yesterday during my 6 hr shift, husband fed baby 3x and she only started having a meltdown the last 30 minutes before I arrived home. So I feel we are on the "other side of the hill" regarding this eating problem. Hopefully things will continue to improve and driving out to meet me for feedings is very short term.

And I'm HOPING that when the baby is regularly eating solids during my work shifts- she wont feel the need to feed all night long as a way to recoup those lost meals. And maybe we can get some sleep! I'm hoping that is why the baby is only sleeping for an hour or two long stretches at night.

But you know what? I have a masters degree. I did the research while I was pregnant. I have tried DOZENS of tips and methods-
AND I LEARNED THAT I GIVE UP!

The baby has beaten me. I cant get her to do anything she doesnt want to do. I don't know what I'm doing. I have always been able to train dogs beautifully and felt pretty confident when I got pregnant that I was educated, I had the resources, I knew the research- I could totally handle a baby and I would do it BETTER than all those mom's with no sleep and crazy heathen toddlers.

But I was wrong. I give up. I have a happy, laughing, animated baby who is meeting all the milestones and doing it while coyly refusing the bottle and screaming to be held when placed in her crib at night. So husband and I are jumping through hoops to get her food- and the darn baby is sleeping in the bed with me (I SWORE THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN!).

But if its not this it will be something else. I'm sure some other baby curve ball is around the corner. I give up. I don't know how to grow a baby. I throw up my hands. I'll let the baby lead the way and we will follow along making sure she is headed towards becoming a happy and healthy toddler.

9 Responses to “Updates”

  1. My English Castle Says:

    I'm sorry, but your remark about dog training preparing you for a baby made me laugh. I' not sure anyone can be prepared for children, and it frequently (at least for me) just got worse when I was determined to do things my way. Lots of it seems to be picking your nonnegotiables and just rolling with the rest. You've had a lot on your plate with moving and everything else, and it's understandable you want to get some control over things, but you're completely right, listen to the baby and find your way together.

  2. TashaC. Says:

    ok I dont think the dog training is that much of a stretch!
    Its about communicating with one another even though no one speaks the same language. It's about unconditional love from both sides being a guide. And its about research, implementation and repetition. Seems like the same thing to me- baby, dog both meet those criteria.

    But the baby is far harder to train than a dog. I'm still not sure why.

  3. My English Castle Says:

    Having had both, I thought dogs were much easier! Maybe because they wanted to please?

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    I had a doctor tell me to let the baby cry it out. At some point, they do have to learn to self comfort themselves. If you know she is well fed, it doesn't hurt to let them cry for awhile. Yes, you will have to listen to it, but they learn that you don't always come and get tired and fall back to sleep. The doctor even said 'have a glass of wine' and relax!!

  5. MonkeyMama Says:

    Good for you on giving up. Big Grin Seriously.

    I am kind of one of those book learning people, but I have never ever read a book on children (since having kids; maybe I did while pregnant). & I will tell you that it is the best thing I have ever done since having kids. I am a very intuitive person and my spouse is a very logical person so when we put our heads together we usually figure it out. It takes a village.

    It's funny, but parenting is often for many people that life lesson that we do not know everything. Maybe it always is.

    Don't totally give up, just use your creativity and problem solving abilities and follow baby's lead. I always felt very blessed to learn this very early on in the parenting process. I felt it made life much easier. IT is much easier to parent when you "go with the flow" versus trying to control everything. You can't force your child to walk or talk or read or use a potty or to sleep well before THEY are ready to.

  6. MonkeyMama Says:

    P.S. Crying it out was by far the *worst* advice we have ever received as parents. It really depends on the kid.

  7. Looking Forward Says:

    Yes, "go with the flow" - BEST advice in dealing with babies/toddlers.. or actually *almost* anything! Big Grin

  8. ND Chic Says:

    We have a four month old baby who wakes up anywhere from two to four times a night. When he wakes up in the early morning (around 3-5), I get him and bring him back to our bed so I can doze off while he nurses. I don't see an issue with it. My daughter was also breastfed and started refusing a bottle around 6 months. We put my breastmilk in a sippy for her when I wasn't with her which was every day at daycare. It took a little practice but it did work. I've always worked full time and breastfed. Good luck!

  9. CB in the City Says:

    I chuckled, too. Animals are SO much easier than babies! Don't ever feel like a failure because you can't make a baby behave like a trained dog! As you are learning, they can have a very strong will of their own. Some babies are easy, but some are very strong-willed. I had one! Basically, nobody's advice ever helped me very much. I tried to let him "cry it out" and that experiment ended when he screamed for three hours straight. He didn't sleep through the night until he was eight months old. (I got up in a panic, thinking he must have died in the night!) He wanted to breastfeed every two hours. (At least I wasn't working!) I didn't think I would survive his infancy. And here I thought I was going to be the world's best mother! Well, now that he's grown, and turned out wonderfully, I think maybe I was after all! Hang in there. What feels terrible now will pass. As others have said, you will figure it out together.

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