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Home > My offer wasnt accepted either!

My offer wasnt accepted either!

December 13th, 2013 at 11:49 pm

Well I got husband's reluctant permission to approach FIL about a buyout deal.

I called and presented it like we were doing him a favor allowing him to get out of a deal he made before he needed so much cash.

Instantly he said No. He said he has it all planned out and everyone will be paid off by the time he retires. And he is counting on the $20k income as a second pension after he retires.

So then I repeated my line of thinking that he could pay everyone off faster by getting cash right now.

He then told me he wants to just continue the plan..."as long as you are still ok with the plan?"

I did a long hesitation trying to collect my thoughts. I said "well, we just thought we would get the money from you and reinvest in another property...but we havnt been able to do that...I didn't expect the money to be tied up for almost 4 years. "

Awkward silence.

Then he tells me he will stop paying the other payments to the other reletive to accelerate payments to me...he might be able to pay me off by 2015.

Well that really wont do anything for me. I've waited over a year, I'll be waiting another 12 months, whats another 12 months after that? We still cannot invest in a property, and right now is what I'm concerned about.

So I told him to keep it all as we have currently and got off the phone. I told husband the plan was a no go and husband got mad at me. He said he "told me so" and now he has to deal with the consequences. His dad would call him and ask a bunch of questions and get all freaked out.

Sure enough within an hour- FIL calls husband and husband has to backtrack my words to smooth out FIL's feelings. Saying its really no big deal and no one is mad about how things turned out.

I promtly burst into tears because I kind of thought he would go for it. I thought we could get the property back. Then husband is mad at me for crying saying I KNEW we wouldn't have enough money when we moved back from California but I wanted to come home anyways (remember husband didn't actually want to come back home- he still wishes things worked out better in Cali and we stayed).He reminded me that I KNEW I had to find a job when we returned home because our income was not enough to cover our expenses. And I was prepared to find a job.

And then I had a baby. And I wanted to find a way to not get a job right away. And thought this could work out. But it didn't. So I've already applied to 5 jobs.

So the proposal was rejected. My money is tied up and I wont get it for 2 years. UGH, time to figure out how to get over this.

5 Responses to “My offer wasnt accepted either!”

  1. Rachael777 Says:
    1386979982

    If you were here we would go get a drink together. I do not know why the father in law? (is that fil) cares whether or not you offered him a 'deal' and why things had to be smoothed over. Very sorry that did not work out. That house would have been awesome.

    I DO suggest that you be honest w this FIL though and say we expected the money back by x time. it is now y time. yes if you can accelerate that would be great. we want our money (give him a year tops).. so we can invest. We are now essentially out of the market at a prime time to buy.

    hang in there

    ((hugs)) and great job asking!

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    1386992236

    ((Hugs)) I think it is great that you asked. And it didn't go as you wanted, but now you know. Just remember to keep family and friends out of all future deals. It is you and your husband as a team for all future investments. And if you said you would get a job, then I guess that needs to be the plan. Also know that you are still in an emotional state physically because of having just had a baby, so emotions are going to be up and down. You are doing great! Keep your head up and keep moving forward.

  3. wisewoman Says:
    1386992473

    Lesson #1, get the terms in writing. I know you know that.

    I'm sorry for the outcome. Honestly, I'd be super angry at the FIL for purchasing the house for the girlfriend before paying you back. He knew your circumstances , (eg moving, having a baby, etc.) But, you need to let it go for your family and mental health. Your hubby should not be mad at you. IMO he should stand up to his father and explain the circumstances and consequences of his actions.

    I wish you nothing but good fortune in 2014!

  4. ceejay74 Says:
    1386999300

    I'm sorry this happened. I've been screwed by inlaws and boyfriends occasionally, though for hundreds and/or thousands of dollars, not hundreds of thousands.

    You know you're in the right, and you know not to trust anyone ever again without a formal contract. You're young, smart, entrepreneurial and ambitious. You'll bounce back from this, I have no doubt.

  5. TashaC. Says:
    1387030821

    It's ok. FIL has been very generous to us in the past and I know he loves us. He just got into an unexpected bind by being served with divorce papers. And maybe he went a little crazy buying stuff he never allowed himself before- a boat, a new truck- but everyone goes a little crazy after a divorce or death. I just SHOULD NOT have allowed myself to get so involved in his life at a time of such upheaval. I'll never forget this and never do it again!

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